Kenny's Thanksgiving
by Completely Original Pen Name
Summary: Kenny is having a shitty Thanksgiving until the Thanksgiving Fairy (who has an uncanny resemblance to Cartman) pays him and his sister a visit!


((A/N: I saw a really upsetting fanart on Tumblr (by blog darlingestalice if anyone wants to check it out) of Karen and Kenny sitting down to a Thanksgiving dinner of only one can of food. That was obviously not acceptable, so I went and wrote this fanfiction.))

Kenny let out a soft sigh as he stared at the can of creamed corn in the middle of the table. It was Thanksgiving, and while all his friends were at their beautiful homes with their loving families, enjoying huge feasts, he was stuck at his house with his parents passed out drunk and his brother no where to be found. The only person around who he gave two fucks about was Karen. His little sister had gone through the trouble of setting the table nicely, with the dingy silverware wrapped in toilet paper napkins and a drawing of a turkey she made in class sitting in the middle of the table.

Kenny was thankful that they had a can opener this year, so that they could at least eat the watery, disgusting can of cold creamed corn. He had no means of warming it up, because creamed corn cannot go into a toaster. He scooped out portions onto both his and Karen's plates. Both of them stared down at the unappetizing meal.

"Maybe if we imagine hard enough, it'll taste like turkey," Karen said with a small smile.

"Yeah... Maybe," Kenny replied.

Karen scooped up a spoonful of the creamed corn, and then ate it with a grimace.

Just then, there was a knock at the door. Kenny grabbed his baseball bat from the table, and approached the door. He was not expecting any guests that day, and as far as he knew, none of his parents' clientele was set to pick up any product. Kenny glanced out the window, frowning when he saw Cartman there, wearing a brown dress with colorful feathers along the back. Intrigued, Kenny opened the door.

"Can I help you?" He asked.

"Helloooo, Kenny!" The Cartman fairy said with a smile. "I'm the Thanksgiving Fairy, and I have a surprise for you!"

"Cartman..." Kenny lowered his bat, but only halfway. "What the actual fu-" He glanced over at Karen- "Heck are you doing?"

"Who's this Cartman you speak of?" The Thanksgiving Fairy asked. "I'm the Thanksgiving Fairy!"

"Bullpoop," Kenny replied. "If you're really the Thanksgiving Fairy, then why don't you come in here and warm up our corn?"

"I can do you one better than that," the Thanksgiving Fairy sang. The Thanksgiving Fairy walked inside, and pulled a magic wand from the front of their dress. The wand was just a stick with a disembodied turkey head on the tip. It was kind of disturbing but also made Kenny weirdly hungry.

The fairy walked over to the table and then waved his wand on top of the can of creamed corn. It suddenly turned into a steaming hot turkey, complete with trimmings on the side. Kenny immediately started drooling over it, but quickly snapped out of it.

"What was that?" Kenny asked the Thanksgiving Fairy. "Seriously, what kind of special effects are you doing, Cartman?"

"I'm not Cartman," the Thanksgiving Fairy said. They were starting to sound annoyed. "I'm the goddamn Thanksgiving Fairy and I can do Thanksgiving magic!"

By this point, Kenny assumed he was having some sort of hunger-induced hallucination. No way this could be real. "If you can do magic, then give us some side dishes, too. Like mashed potatoes and broccoli and stuff."

"Your wish is my command," the Thanksgiving Fairy replied. The Thanksgiving Fairy waved the magical Thanksgiving wand again, and the McCormick table was covered in various delicious-smelling side dishes.

Kenny looked at the table in disbelief, then looked at the fairy. Still suspicious, he said, "I want to see you eat some of it."

"Kenny!" Karen whined. "Can't we just eat this?"

"Not yet, Kare," Kenny replied. He flashed a quick smile at his sister.

The Thanksgiving Fairy shrugged, and waved the magical Thanksgiving wand a third time. A plate was conjured up, and then another wave of the wand caused the food to be cut on and floated onto the plate. A third wave made shiny silver forks and knives appear. The Thanksgiving Fairy ate a few bites, and Kenny was convinced.

"Okay, fine, we'll eat it," he said, sitting back down at the table. The Thanksgiving Fairy carved the turkey with the magical Thanksgiving wand, and Kenny and Karen both took a generous portion of food. Both of them ate and ate and ate and ate until they both felt like they were about to burst.

Once they were done, the Thanksgiving Fairy waved the Magical Thanksgiving wand, and all the leftover food disappeared.

"Hey, I was gonna package up the leftovers!" Kenny protested.

"Check your fridge," the Thanksgiving Fairy replied.

Kenny frowned and stood up. Indeed, in the McCormick fridge was tons of Tupperware containers of the leftover Thanksgiving feast. Kenny grinned and went back out to the kitchen. "Thanks, Thanksgiving Fairy," Kenny said.

"Yeah, thanks!" Karen said.

"You're both very welcome!" The Thanksgiving Fairy replied. The Magical Thanksgiving wand was waved one last time, and a pie and a can of whipped cream appeared in the middle of the table. "I must leave now. Enjoy your dessert," the fairy said. The Thanksgiving Fairy pranced out the door.

The two ate and enjoyed their food. Then, Monday at school, Kenny approached Eric Cartman.

"Hey, dude, you really didn't have to do that," Kenny said.

Cartman looked at Kenny with genuine confusion. "What do you mean?" He asked.

"Remember?" Kenny replied. "On Thanksgiving, you came to my house and did some magic and made me and Karen a Thanksgiving dinner."

Cartman rolled his eyes. "Sounds like someone slipped some meth into your creamed corn." He then walked away to go torment Kyle, who was telling Stan about how he heard Mr. Hankey the previous night.

Kenny just stood there and watched Cartman walk away. He noticed the tiny red feather on his back, and smiled.


End file.
